Oh, I have been so unmotivated to write. I have so many things to say; things that if I were in the mood to write about them, it would take days to read. Quite frankly, I'm less motivated to think than I am to write, but I am going to try to get the wheels in my brain "a-turning" again, and the only way to do it I think is to just begin typing. So as it states in my title, this really is a blog about nothing.
Exhaustion really gets taken to new heights when you become a mother. There is so much to do, so much to accomplish, so much to think about, so much you can screw up, and so little time succeed or fail at it. It would help if I could just get Kins out of our bed, then I know I would maybe catch a few more zzzzz's, but I have convinced myself that I am abandoning her if I do put her in her own room/crib. Kris wants nothing more than to get Kins out. I can't even do it for him. Then there's the whole breast feeding thing. How great, but even more so challenging is it to have someone who depends on you for their livelihood. I hold the key to Kins' survival, MY BOOBS. Sometimes, I wish I didn't have any. You might recall me saying in a previous blog that as soon as Kins' gets her top teeth, breastfeeding will have to stop. I was firm in this statement, as I was exhausted from breastfeeding then too. Kins' top two teeth are now in; have been for about a month now, and still no initiative has been made by me to stop. Thank God she isn't much of a bitter, because I feel I would still continue to nurse even if she were. I guess I am too tired to do anything the hard way. In fact, that really has been my moto my entire life. Which ever way is the easiest, that is the route I will go. Bummer that this is now how I am raising Kins. Or perhaps it is merely for survival and my love for my little girl that I will sacrifice my boobs for this long. She loves nursing, it brings her comfort and nourishment, so what if my boobs (in the future, not now :)) resemble "those photos" out of a National Geographic magazine. There is always plastic surgery.
Anyways, wow, I had no idea that was on my mind. Now that I have begun the creative process of writing again, I will soon fill you in on all of Kins' exciting new feats. Babies are truly extraordinary and ever-changing. It's remarkable; all the new things Kins has picked up in such a short amount of time. And when I can finally articulate them all to you, I will let you know. Until then, here is a wonderful photo to tie you over. It was taken at our favorite park, Bowfield, and yes, it was the first time she went on the swing. Obviously, she loved it. Thanks for reading!